motherhood, politics, faith & whatnot

OK, so I must rant.

I’m a Christian.

I used to keep that on the down-low because I didn’t want to be linked to those Christians. The fundamentalist ones. The preachy, judgmental, right-wing nut jobs that have elected W to office, twice.

Several years ago, I felt pushed to be more open about my faith. To find words to articulate what I believe, so I started trying to do just that, but still carefully choosing the times and places where I would open up.

I believed and still do that you are more likely to influence someone’s faith by how you live than being preachy. Lead by example, but not a self-righteous, holier than thou example, because we all do things that we’re not proud of, whether we pray to Jes*us or not. I’m not a better person than you because I believe in God’s grace. Thank God, for God’s grace.

But in addition to trying to lead a life focused on God and struggling to follow Jesus’ example and teachings which is really an impossible, unattainable goal, it is necessary to speak out sometimes. To talk about one’s faith. To not always be so willing to see things from everyone else’s point of view and be quiet and respectful of their experiences.

In fact, I’m really tired of trying to tread carefully around people’s negative experiences with organized religion so as not to offend them. Of trying to see their side of things and understand that religion brings a lot of baggage for a lot of people and that the fundamentalist right-wing nut jobs out there spewing hatred and intolerance aren’t really helping matters. I know religion leaves a bad taste in a lot of peoples’ mouth. I know all this stuff.

I’m sorry about that, I am. But I’m not like that, nor am I in any way really connected to that, so please stop and broaden your world view for a moment. Don’t paint all of us Christians with such a broad brush. “Church people” aren’t inherently bad. I’m a “church person.”

I’m tired of the expectations foisted on me if I say that I’m a Christian If I put it out there, then I feel very conscious of needing to prove to people that no, I’m not one of those Christians. I’m cool (hah) and I drink and I curse and I’m not a very patient person and I yell at my kids a little too much sometimes and I have quite a temper and I’m petty and flawed, just like everyone. And that’s exactly why I need God.

It’s so tiresome making sure to reassure people that you are one of the “good” ones. That I’m not going to make them testify and accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior.

How about giving me a break? How about stepping in my shoes?

Am I even making sense, I don’t know. I’m just, well, frustrated.

If you take issue with anything I’ve said here, feel free to comment. I want to discuss. I want to hear what you have to say. Frank discussions are difficult, but really helpful things.