Insecurities.
January 19, 2006Sometimes, I really wish I could know what people think about me, how I come across. I just don’t know. I feel like at 34, I should know, but I don’t. I think I put people off because I can get kind of quiet.
I stumble over my words when I’m nervous, especially if I don’t know people very well and am in a group. It makes people uncomfortable. Or it seems like it does.
I don’t warm up to people very easily and consequently, they don’t warm up to me.
Sometimes, I feel like I’m slogging through mud or fog or foggy mud or muddy fog when I’m interacting with people. It’s that feeling you have when you are in the middle of a dream and something from the outside like your child’s cry or the alarm clock is going off and you just. can’t. wake. up.
I’m saying things, but seeing blank looks.
I feel too tall. I just want to blend into the crowd most times, but at just shy of 5′11″, I kind of stand out.
Do you ever wonder how you come across to other people? Do you feel like you have a good sense of that already?
It is almost a daily feelling, and not only in real life. I think it is natural, though. But Suze, you come off being extremely confident and very eloquent with your words.
And I didn’t know you were so tall!
Comment by susie — January 26, 2006 @ 10:40 am