motherhood, politics, faith & whatnot

I posted this elsewhere, but also wanted to probe the collective wisdom of the blog-community. This could alternately be titled, “Why I don’t go home.”

I need some help from my fellow moms, since nobody else around here is very helpful.

We’ve decided to go to Atlanta this weekend to see my family. My dad had a heart “incident” about two weeks ago which resulted in a balloon angioplasty. He’s fine and in good health (he goes to the gym almost every day), but it was kind of scary and I really want to see him.

So, we will drive down on Friday — it’s about a six hour drive (without a 2.5 year old and an 8.5 month old) and drive back on Sunday.

So, here’s the thing: I can’t decide where we should stay. My parents live about three miles from my brother and his wife and 3 year old daughter.

My parents house is not childproofed and Daniel will get into everything. He’s just like that. My mom says, “Well, maybe he won’t.” OK, yeah, maybe his whole personality will change on the drive down.

However, at my parents house, there are two bedrooms we could use. Daniel would sleep on a mattress on the floor in the same room with Jim, and I could sleep in the other bedroom on a twin with the boo in the crib. Waking up in the morning, it’ll be nice to hang out with Pop-Pop (my dad) — he tends to get up early.

If we stayed with my brother, we’d pretty much all be in one room. Jim and I and the baby would be in a queen bed (what we usually sleep in, sans boo) and Daniel would be on a mattress on the floor.) BUT, they have a three year old, so their house has some amount of childproofing and lots of toys and a big, slobbery lab (daniel loves dogs) and a playset in the back yard.

I think my mom’s feelings are already a little hurt b/c I just suggested that we might stay w/ Gray & Kristy (my bro), but then again, she does nothing to try to childproof anything. I mean, whether my mom’s feelings are hurt or not is one factor, mostly because I’ll feel guilty.

Then again, they are the grandparents and should be able to have their grandkids stay with them, right?

I don’t mean to cause a big stink by going against what my mom wants, but I just don’t know what to do. If our sleeping accommodations at my brother’s were more ideal, I really think we’d go there. But then, I’d really like to spend some quality time with my dad. Not that we wouldn’t be able to if we stayed with my brother.

But, if we are staying with my parents and Daniel’s acting up, it’s not like we’ll have that much qt anyway.

I am afraid that my mom is going to try to get Daniel to do what she wants him to do — sitting through a meal, eating what she wants him to, not sticking his fingers in the bird’s cage when she tells him not to, etc. I try to let that stuff just roll off, but it gets to me.

The bottom line with my mom is that her way is the only way in her house. She doesn’t like the TV on during the day — but we turn it on anyway, but then I can’t help but notice the smirks. And I’m so sick of tiptoeing around her. Everytime we go down there and stay with them, DH ends up decreeing that we’ll never stay with them again.

Ok, Ok. Now you see why I’m driving DH crazy. On the one hand, I want to be the “good” daughter and stay with the grandparents so they can enjoy their grandchildren, but on the other hand,

What would you do? Have you been in similar situations? Do you get along with your mom? How is it staying with your kids at your parents’ house?

Any advice would be appreciated.